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leila phelps EP

by leila phelps

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1.
i gave away the knife that my grandfather left me 'cause cleaning up your blood was too much to take your parents said "we'll be home tomorrow" all week but when the ambulance came they were still out of state so i curled up beside you in your hospital bed the surest way to my heart is scaring me to death every damn time i relive that night i do everything different but nothing goes right oh babe i know oh babe i know you said you didn't mean half of the things that you said while you were drinking if i'm so afraid of you why am i afraid of you leaving you asked more of me than i had to give if love isn't labor i don't know what it is your smile has changed i'm sorry i didn't mean anything you're right i shouldn't have said that no, i'm not looking for a fight i understand you need some time i'll talk to you later tonight go, babe, just go go, babe, just go
2.
you pull me down until i fall into you we catch our breath, you said we should move into your room our clothes hit the ground and your hands begin to move i know we shouldn't be doing this but i'm so into you i still feel your hands on my neck i wish i could forget but i can't take any of this back so i'll live with this until i can't one last time i'll text you goodnight when i get home but you'll know that i mean goodbye "it's better off this way" we hear each other say 'cause you don't want to marry me and i don't want you to change i still feel your hands on my neck i wish i could forget but i can't take any of this back so i'll live with this until i can't you found me right when i hit solid ground it still means something if it didn't work out i can't say i always make the best decisions but loving you was one of the better ones every morning after every night we spent together i remember being tired; if i cared, i don't remember i've been running for so long i've almost forgotten quite what from i can't promise you anything but i'm trying to move on
3.
you're a great example of the ways i'm bad at love maybe i would love myself if i could make you love me enough i wanted to feel wanted you came to me with needs the best thing you ever gave me was a reason to leave and now you're dead to me you stole my body in my sleep nobody recognizes me what you thought you saw, you didn't see who you thought i was, was never me cross my heart and i hope to fight cross my heart and i hope to fight i'm careful with my body in ways i've learned i need i'm not afraid of you anymore 'cause i don't deserve to be you told me i made this worse for you reminded me it was my word against yours and mine was going to lose 'cause you're so popular i waded in too deep caught the current; lost my feet with no strength to swim i sank into the sea
4.
i would cut off the parts of me that make me awkward and ugly to you it's the least that i can do in exchange for your time and energy i can't promise you anything and i am sorry for everything that i'll do that i won't make up to you i'm just scraping by on the hopes that i won't die and it works every time i lay my eyes on you i don't know why i thought it'd be a good idea to try to tell you how i feel you already know exactly what you're getting with me i'm just scraping by on the hopes that i won't die and it works every time i lay my eyes on you i'm just scraping by on the hopes i'll be alright 'cause it hurts every time i say goodbye to you
5.
6.
i don't know what you're about and i'm not taking the time to find out i don't know where you're coming from i'm running on assumptions oh my god i wish you could see that it's always been about me oh my god i wish you could see that it's always been about me it's not like the world you see looks so different from mine we just arrived along different lines it's not each other we should fight we're stronger together i don't know what you're doing here but it's clear to me i have reason to fear i don't care who you think you are i'm going to bet your life you aren't oh my god i wish you could see that it's always been about me oh my god i wish you could see that it's always been about me i don't know what you need and i don't get why that matters to me can't you see i'm too busy scraping by for empathy oh my god i wish i could see that it's never been about me oh my god i wish we could see that it's never been about what we need

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released March 25, 2024

all music and lyrics written by leila phelps

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